SYNERGY-NET on http://www.wiredbrain.net/documents/ Small, stable, smart and convenient : THE SPOT for PARTICIPATION ON THE WEB: RE: CONFLICT, Fight or flight ?: Conflict is part of life, part of any business, family, school and the core function of government. Politics, law and government is all about the resolution, negotiation and compromise of conflicts. Conflict of interests can't be avoided. All the literature on conflict resolution, people skills, motivation and human relations tells us that dealing with conflict is critical to getting the job done and keeping families, communities, companies, schools, churches working together on common goals. The creative use of conflict creates synergy, the whole group become more than the sum of the individual parts, real collective, a community of interest. In the brigade, in the work group, the eyes must be lifted, the soul touched, the spirit awaked. Only by a valid appeal to a higher ground, and a common humanity will people love and support one another. There are material deals. A good deal is a trade, both side must benefit in any trade or it shouldn't be done. A unfair trade is a cheat, a steal, a rip off. We can not life effectively in a society of thieves, rip off artist, crooks and swindlers. The social fabric becomes ripped and torn, and we stand naked in the jungle of passions. In an interesting study of collective communities, the institutionalization of conflict was critical to the survival of these utopian communities. Governments are set up to settle conflict "within the rules" so they don't fester and break out in rebellions or the internal collapse of morale. That was Benedicts and Maslow's, Covey and Demings point about synergy, the power of a shared vision, common goals and cooperative spirit. There are known methods that work in the management of conflict. The key is being honest, focus on the problem not the person, ( fix the problem not the blame ) stating your position clearly as you see it ( I statements - I feel, I have to, I don't want to, I need, I care about, ) and listening ( with neural feedback, I hear you saying.. ) and with real empathy and attention to the real needs and concerns of others. Our political "debate" is just the wrong approach, it declines to childish name calling, it becomes a focus on "character" not policy. To work through conflict the focus should be on what you do, that really effects me, not what your are. The question is why do I own a problem, does your problem become my headache, what is our problem, and how can we find a win/win process ? The process is the solution. When political commercials becomes lies, damn lies and false statistics, when each side pays no attention to the legitimate concerns and feelings of others and no one is listening, campaigns turn us off for very good reason. This escalation of charges and counter charges, makes opposition into "enemies", and conflict into domestic warfare. Most people when asked about CONFLICT say they either avoid the problem or get angry. All rational behavior is between these two extremes. The fight/flight reaction is part of our deep programming but culture, organizations, politics, and religion are institutional methods for dealing with conflict. When these institutions fail people become angry or withdrawn. The growth of the militia, radical angry groups of all kinds, the influence of white buffalo cults et al is matched by the escape from politics, the withdrawal of interest and participation. The vast majority appear to loose interest in public affairs, because they feel useless, hopeless, out of control or it just makes them mad. Most of the American public feels anger or indifference to government in general and the Congress in particular. The use of National Referendum could lead to the reform of the House of Representatives. We need a constitutional reform that removals the personal power of committees, that breaks the iron triangle, that creates some form of proportional representation. We need a reform which puts limits on the power of material interests, and reforms the process that attracts the cash which creates the mass distribution of lies; We need a reform of the process that runs up the national debt, creates the fight/flight syndrome in the public - We need a new process that makes us less angry and withdrawn, a reform which creates a new process - a new way of conflict resolution that works better. It will work if it raises the level of debate, moves the spirit and soul and is less commercial, personal, greedy. We need more of a win/win process and government is all about the process of conflict resolution. Copies of the SYNERGY JOURNAL sent by request: pflaump@wiredbrain.com SYNERGY-NET on http://www.wiredbrain.net/documents/ Peter E. Pflaum Ph.D. , Headmaster GLOBAL_VILLAGE_SCHOOLHOUSE 225 Robinson Road, New Smyrna Beach, FL 32169-2176 (904) 428-9609 pflaump@mail.trevista.com http://synergy.trevista.com/ We are on being on line from GMT 14:00 to 18:00 ( Florida is -4 GMT) - in on the hour =+/- .05 minutes at http://forum.trevista.com/talk/ join #synergy on IRC and I will help you use Microsoft's NETMEETINGS or Netscape's COOL TALK I will post my IP # on the index page on turnpike or trevista above. Personal classes in small groups, $50.00 a month, includes $10.00 a month for the SYNERGY CLUB charter membership, which will go on at that rate. THE SYNERGY CLUB charter membership includes a web site and home pages, ftp, IRC, newsgroups, listserver, net meetings, World Form, BBS, Chat, and more. Synergy schools and club stay with all the you all the way into cyberspace. Your group is stable. You have a home on the net. You will have a network of helpers. You keep in touch with "what happening", get advice and support. It's the only way to go, you can't do it on your own. YOU NEED SYNERGY http://forum.trevista.com/ and http://forum.trevista.com/talk/ sign up on: http://www.wiredbrain.net/documents//winhttpd/htdocs/peterml.htm /winhttpd/htdocs/peterml.htm